Why I’ve Not Been Posting As Much

I’ve hesitated about writing this post for a while. You may have noticed that I’ve not been posting as much. In fact, to my sorrow I’ve been more off than on.

For a few months now I’ve been dealing with feelings of fatigue, depression and just generally being overwhelmed with life. Last week after experiencing a panic attack my husband asked me to go see our naturopathic doctor.

After a long discussion my doctor believes the root of my problem is 18 years of too little sleep. Nursing babies, multiple pregnancies, scared toddlers will take away your sleep – Who knew?

So, I’ve started on a supplement programme that after a week in seems to be making some headway on my ability to sleep better and to not feel so overwhelmed. Let me just explain about my feeling overwhelmed. I’m not talking about having ten things on my to-do list and not knowing where to start although that’s part of it. I’m talking about simple, everyday tasks that can leave me feeling panicky like ordering our school curriculum for a new year. I’ve been doing this for over twelve years. It is not hard. That just about did me in a few weeks ago. Sometimes even the laundry feels like too much.

In addition to the supplements I’m trying to figure out what needs to be a priority in my day. I’m really, really trying to make my first priority be my husband and children. My youngest is not potty-trained yet because I have not been able to face it. The other day I took my youngest children to the park and played on the equipment with them. I think they had no idea that they had a mommy who could do fun things.

I didn’t write this to gain sympathy or pity – prayers, yes. I believe God is going to help me get back on track. In the meantime, now you know why I haven’t been able to post as much as I would like to. I want my blog to be an encouragement to others and am always disappointed in myself when I don’t post. I’m having to step back from that emotion and realize that sometimes life is what it is.

Thanks for reading this, and thanks for your patience.

 


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Jennifer Schonhaar

Jennifer Schonhaar

Jennifer is the happily married wife of a pastor and the somewhat-tired-but-oh-so happy mum to eight beautiful children. She loves to try new healthy recipes, sew, read to her children, garden and play the piano.
Jennifer Schonhaar

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4 Comments

  1. Pat

    This is more common than many people think but few will “go public” for fear of being looked down on or being thought of as having failed in some way.
    There is such a lack of community out there these days and some feel isolated. Many just give up. I heard of one woman who was asked how homeschooling was going and she replied, “Homeschooling?! I’m too depressed for that right now; I just toss them some books and tell them to go read.”
    While that may be an extreme case, it seems you’ve been able to hold things together while going through a rough patch. Thanks for sharing this and being open and honest.

  2. Joy Daggett

    I’m so proud of you. Being able to express these feelings out loud comes only after being able to admit them to yourself and that is the first step in getting help. I stand shoulder to shoulder in this with you and I truly know what you’re going through as I face this also. Just remind yourself, it’s okay to NOT be okay. I love you.

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